Good Things that the Twilight Saga has Given Us

With the saga finally coming to a close I thought it’d be appropriate that someone address the film/book series. Knowing that the standards and integrity of the writers for this page are probably fairly respectable, I bit the bullet, took one for the team, and decided to dig really… really deep to find some good things the not-quite-vampire series has given us. I’m not too worried about the feedback I may receive from this article but more of what my search history will have in it after I complete the article.

4. People Now Acknowledge the Sub-Par Art they Wallow In.

Twilight

The Twilight series was sooooo popular yet sooooo bad that it was impossible for those that enjoyed it to bask in its glory because it had no glory. Bashed by critics and nearly everyone who wasn’t a teenage girl, Twilight quickly became the standard for bad smut. At first, I remember my female friends recommending the book to me. I wanted to know what I was missing so I gave it a shot. After I crawled my way through the text, enough time had passed for the same friends to realize they’d been fooled and admitted to its shame. Both the films and the books fail to gain any critical success outside of the MTV movie awards, which is run by pre-teen to teenage girls. Remember back in ’94 when Pulp Fiction won best picture at the MTV movie awards?

3. Vampires are Hot Once Again!

True Blood

Sure, maybe they never cooled off ironically, and I guess they were always pretty darn good looking, but the vampire is back, and there’s been some good vampire shit floating around. Pop culture is now filled with artists trying to bank on the success of Twilight, riding on the tail end of it like a comet. Others seek to counter it by creating something like Stake Land that’s supposed to be pretty kick ass, and True Blood which is like really good smut television. Remember Buffy in the 90s? Twilight didn’t kill the vampire—it was resurrected.

2. Appreciating the Classics, or Loathing Them…

Wuthering Heights

Twilight is pretty much a poorly written and insultingly less complex version of Wuthering Heights, like I’m pretty sure they end sorta the same way. I read Wuthering Heights in high school and I can confidently say it may be the best book I’ve ever read, not saying it’s my favorite though. To be honest, most Twilight readers have no idea this is the case; in fact, it’s surprising how many people lack this knowledge, but the books are nearly identical in bone structure. Twilight just refuses literary merit and goes for commercialism. It at least alerts people to a book that I feel is a necessary read, just watch out for all the Kathryns.

1. Our Tolerance for Crap

Taylor Lautner

After nearly 5 years of these fucking movies coming out, most everyone is tired of bitching and even more people are tired of saying they’re tired of bitching. We are accustomed to this crap being shat out the tail end of Hollywood—it’s expected. At least one pre-teen porno to be released late in November to cash in on that award season rush. Mommy and daddy hit up the Oscar nominees while little Debbie and Sue check out Taylor Lautner’s new action flick. I mean, can anyone deny the amazing piece of cinema that is Abduction?

What do you think? Leave a comment.

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8 Comments

  1. OhBless
    0

    I laughed when I reached last page. Thank you for writing this rather than bashing the series immediately. A friend told me that one of their first film to analyze during a media course was Twilight! I could not believe it until we ended up having a 2 hour discussion about its success and the reason of it.

  2. Jordan

    Are you actually a film maker, Brandon, or are you a student? 🙂

  3. Tatijana

    Yeah… I read Twilight because I read everything young adult. And I can confidently say it’s pretty much garbage… that says I wish I had written it and become rich haha.

  4. yes when I read it, I found a different level of tolerance in me, learnt many big words without meaning

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